While the holidays bring so much joy, they can also bring a bit of stress. Here is a great article written by Neda Gould with Four Mindful Tips to De-Stress This Holiday Season.
Managing Mood and Stress Managing Stress
Not feeling particularly cheery this time of year? You’re not alone. Many find that the holidays bring as much stress as they do joy. But there are ways to ease through the season. To help make the most of your festivities, Neda Gould, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and director of the Johns Hopkins Mindfulness Program at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, shares some mindful tips.
What is mindfulness? “Mindfulness is bringing your attention to the present moment with an element of nonjudgment and acceptance. It is noticing when we get caught up in thoughts about the past or the future, and returning our attention to the present — the only reality,” explains Gould.
While mindfulness can be a formal meditation practice, there are also informal ways to practice this skill. This can give us perspective and decrease stress.
Gould shares four ways to make your holidays brighter:
Accept Imperfection
Can good be good enough? “As we gear up for the holidays, we often set the bar impossibly high for ourselves and then feel upset when our celebrations don’t live up to expectations,” says Gould.
Before you start preparing, acknowledge that things may not go exactly as planned. “It’s OK if it’s not perfect. Imperfection is healthy and normal. For some of us, it might just take a little practice,” reminds Gould.
Don’t Lose Sight of What Really Counts
With long lines and nasty traffic, the holidays can get hectic. When overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle, ask yourself:
Where does this fit in the grand scheme of things? If you’re frustrated by the long grocery line you’re standing in, remember that it is just a long grocery line — nothing more. Don’t let it spoil your afternoon.
Can I use this moment of frustration as an opportunity to reflect? While the cashier rings up the customers ahead of you, take inventory of the good things that have happened today or the things you are grateful for.
Even if this moment seems stressful, can I find a way to make it pleasant? Connect with someone else in line with a compliment or kind gesture, or notice what’s around you with fresh eyes and an open mind.
Respond with Kindness
You can’t change how others act during the stresses of the holiday season, but you can change how you respond to situations:
“Whenever I encounter a difficult person, I tell myself, ‘this person is suffering, and that’s why they’re acting this way.’ It softens my frustration, helps me be more compassionate and reminds me that it’s not personal,” says Gould.
Keep in mind that the holidays are especially difficult for those who are alone. See if you can extend an act of kindness to those you know are without family and friends during this time of year.
If things do get tense with someone, take a few deep breaths. “Those few breaths can shift things and give you new perspective,” says Gould.
Rethink Your Resolutions
“Typical New Year’s resolutions set you up for failure,” warns Gould. If you want to better yourself in the New Year, follow these tips for success:
Start small. Break your goal into tinier steps over the course of the year. If weight loss is your goal, it doesn’t have to be drastic. Try to eat more veggies during your first month and gradually cut back on sweets throughout the next, suggests Gould.
Be kind to yourself. If you didn’t achieve last year’s resolution or stray from the path this time around, let it go. “We often contrive these stories (‘I’m never going to quit smoking!’) that only add to our distress,” says Gould. “With practice, we can notice this self-critic, let go of that negativity and pick our goals back up without the guilt or shame.”
I hope everyone has a stress free Holidays with your loved ones.
Happy Holidays!!
-Amanda Hirschberg, Penny Lane Centers
Create a Psychologically Safe Workplace to Foster Inclusiveness
Fostering a workplace environment where individuals feel comfortable sharing their points of view openly and respectfully is the foundation of creating an inclusive workplace. That starts with a psychologically safe workplace, according to Claudia Schabel, founder, president, and CEO of Schabel Solutions based in Des Moines, Iowa.
“Often, we have polite workplaces, we have safe workplaces, but not quite [ones that are] psychologically safe,” where individuals are free to make mistakes without the fear of being shamed, she said during her concurrent session titled “Enhance the Dialogue: How to Foster Inclusive Conversations” at SHRM INCLUSION 2024 outside of Denver on Nov. 7.
“Mistakes are going to happen. This doesn’t give us permission to be sloppy, unprofessional, or not be careful with the work we do,” she said. However, there is room for discretion in making individuals aware of their missteps in how they interact with others. When leaders make a mistake, “they have to be transparent about what [they] did wrong and what [they] learned from it, and [tell workers], ‘I encourage you to learn together from my own mistakes,’ ” she added.
Leaders also should:
Speak less and listen more “to make room for different voices, different perspectives,” to ask questions.
Implement mechanisms for people to be heard.
Recognize and reward individuals who raise uncomfortable issues or different approaches to a problem.
When HR brings the message of psychological safety to senior leaders, they should share the research behind it and how it supports best practices, as well as the positive impact it can have on their own teams, Schabel told conference attendees.
“Your team is going to perform better, faster, in a more innovative way if you are consistent and intentional about having psychological safety at a team level,” she said. “It’s you coaching [leaders]on building psychological safety for their teams” and knowing how to address mistakes, she told the attendees. But building psychological safety does not rest solely with the leader. “It’s created by each one of us in our teams,” Schabel said.
She outlined the following key communication steps to deploy when something goes wrong that can help foster psychological safety and inclusiveness:
Assess the situation: What happened and what is the impact? Determine whether addressing it in the moment puts your safety at risk. If so, deescalate the situation by deflecting or exiting the conversation. When you are ready to broach the topic, the intent should be to have a constructive, productive conversation.
Ask clarifying questions: Respectfully approach the individual with curiosity, not judgment.
Respond with empathy: Tell the person in a factual manner what you observed; this can be a teachable moment. For example, you might tell the individual you witnessed them saying ‘xyz’ but you don’t think they realize how that came across, Schabel noted. “This is not a monologue,” Schabel said. “We have to listen to understand.”
Share the effects: Make the individual aware of their action’s impact on others and share your thoughts and feelings about what happened. One attendee shared how he was quietly made aware that a comment he intended as a joke was offensive to a colleague. At a previous workplace, it would not have raised an eyebrow. When the injured party is uncomfortable handling the matter on their own, an ally—including HR—can step in by making the other individual aware of the effect their words or actions had on a colleague..
Determine the next steps: Is a follow-up conversation necessary? Do you need to talk more about this? It’s important, Schabel said, to be honest with yourself about the purpose of the conversation. If it’s to address the issue, what outcome are you expecting? If a conversation is warranted, Schabel advised HR professionals to consider potential scenarios, practice what to say, and always use inclusive language.
