UMCR responded to a call from concerned neighbors and property management regarding the well-being of an individual in distress. According to the property manager, the individual had been intermittently present for over a month. Despite several attempts to engage him, the manager was unsuccessful and, out of frustration, even threatened to evict the individual's family if he did not leave. The UMCR team listened attentively, acknowledged these concerns, and offered psychoeducation and safety planning—introducing more compassionate and effective ways to support individuals in crisis.
Upon arrival, the team met “Jack,” a young man who appeared exhausted but approachable. He shared that he had been evicted by a family member and had been sleeping outside their door on and off for over a month. Recognizing the UMCR team from previous interactions, Jack expressed a willingness to reengage and shared that he was now ready to accept help.
The team responded with empathy, validated his experiences, and provided immediate support, including a warm meal, new shoes, and assistance securing safe shelter. UMCR arranged his placement at the Victory Outreach Men’s Treatment Center, where he was warmly welcomed by the program director and manager. After completing intake, the team said their goodbyes and wished him well on his journey.
This case is a reminder that with compassion, persistence, and community collaboration, we can make a meaningful difference and help pave the way for a brighter future.
UMCR Team: German Ortiz and Lori Reid
Sometimes, without even realizing it, we find ourselves drowning in the needs of others. There comes a point when putting everyone else first becomes not only exhausting—but harmful. When we lose ourselves in the service of others, we may find ourselves:
In romantic relationships, marriages, and close partnerships, this can look like over-giving, over-accommodating, and staying loyal to people who consistently hurt or disrespect us. The idea of walking away—of letting them face the consequences of their actions—feels unbearable. So we stay. We shrink. We suffer.
But healing from the wound of abandonment and chronic people-pleasing means learning this crucial truth: it is not our job to protect others from their own discomfort.
As adults, our role is not to keep the peace at the cost of our own well-being. Our role is to behave with integrity, hold self-respect, and protect ourselves when necessary. That means letting others feel what they need to feel—even if it’s disappointment, guilt, or sadness. Because that’s how people grow.
Setting boundaries for the first time can feel selfish. It can feel wrong. That reaction is not a failure—it’s a signal. A sign that we may have learned love only through self-abandonment.
But boundaries aren’t walls. They’re bridges to healthier relationships. They don’t push people away; they invite the right people closer. Boundaries are how we show others how to love us—and how we learn to love ourselves.
When we stop emotionally managing others, we create space to be kind without self-sacrifice. We let people take ownership of their actions. We stop over-functioning. And we begin, perhaps for the first time, to feel safe inside ourselves.
This is the work. This is the gift of boundaries.
